"He Seemed So Normal": What the Hamish Tait Case Should Teach Every Parent and Provider

By now you've probably seen the headlines. A childcare worker in Sydney, now publicly named after a court-ordered suppression was lifted, is facing over 300 charges relating to the sexual abuse and exploitation of children across more than 60 early education centres, spanning 16 years of employment. More than 130 children have been identified as victims. Dozens more are still being found.

I'm not going to walk you through the details of the charges. You can find those elsewhere, and frankly, the specifics aren't what's going to keep your child safer. What I want to talk about is the pattern - because I've seen this pattern before, and I saw it up close with this exact case.

I worked with one of the providers involved

After Hamish Tait was charged, I was engaged to work with one of the education providers connected to him. What struck me and what always strikes me, is that they had absolutely no idea. Not a whisper of suspicion. Not a "something felt off" that they'd dismissed. Genuinely, completely blindsided.

He was the model employee, loved by all. Parents found him relatable and competent. The kids found him fun and engaging. And his fellow educators found him to be a source of great help and experience. 

I want to sit with that for a second, because it cuts against almost everything we're taught to believe about abusers.

The myth of "you'd just know"

There's a comforting story we tell ourselves: that people who abuse children are somehow visibly wrong. Creepy. Awkward. Off. That if we just trust our gut, we'll spot them before they get near our kids.

It's comforting because it makes us feel like we have control. It's also, often a false belief that makes it easier for abusers to harm kids.

In my years as a detective investigating child sexual abuse, I rarely met an offender who matched the stranger-danger caricature. You know the one, creepy, scraggly looking man in a white van, flashing kids from beneath a jacket or handing out lollies. They do exist, but they rarely work in education. 

The men and women I investigated were liked. Trusted. Often the ones parents specifically requested for their child, because they seemed so good with kids. That's not a coincidence - being "good with kids" and being trusted by adults is the exact skillset an abuser needs to gain access and time alone. It's not a red flag on its own. It's often the entire strategy.

This is why the "you'd know" narrative is so dangerous. It doesn't just fail to protect children - it actively delays detection, because it teaches good, careful, loving adults to rule out the people who are actually closest to the risk. The ones who make it their whole job, personality and identity to be seen as a safe, competent and trustworthy adult. 

What providers and parents can actually do

If "trust your instincts about the person" isn't a reliable filter, what is? A few things I come back to again and again:

• Build systems, not vibes. Policies like no single-adult access to children, visible sightlines in every room, and rostering that avoids one adult being consistently alone with the same child aren't accusations against your staff - they're structural protections that don't rely on anyone correctly guessing who's dangerous.
• Watch behaviour, not personality. The real signal isn't "this person seems odd." It's things like: pushing for one-on-one time, making exceptions to safety policies or professional boundaries, resisting oversight, engineering reasons to be alone with a particular child, or reacting defensively or dismissive to normal supervision and policy. 
• Take "boring" reporting seriously. Most of what precedes a case like this is small, deniable, easy-to-wave-away moments and behaviours. The types of things that sound like, “Oh I was just making sure they didn’t need my help getting changed” or “They asked for my help and it was only for a minute”. A centre's culture that takes those small behaviours or policy violations seriously - without needing proof, without needing certainty - is what actually catches things early. It also is really good at making someone looking to prey on kids, think twice before harming them. 
• Talk to your kids, specifically and often. Not one "stranger danger" or "child safety week" chat. Ongoing, plain-language conversations about body safety, about which adults get to ask them to keep secrets (none), and about the fact that they will never be in trouble for telling you something an adult (or anyone) did. They need to know they can ALWAYS come to you and tell you anything, no matter what it is and that you will never be angry or upset with them. Without saying this explicitly to kids repeatedly, abusers and groomers have an opportunity to groom children into thinking the grooming and abusive behaviours are normal and appropriate and that they will be in trouble for sharing. We need to counter this.   

Where the responsibility sits

I want to be really clear about something: I don’t believe the provider or any service of which he worked at was at fault for not knowing. Unless they explicitly helped him abuse those children or ignored red flag and abusive behaviours, they are not responsible. Hamish Tait is responsible. He used, coerced, orchestrated and manipulated his way into having access to all those children.

Like a spider, he spun a web and he waited for his opportunity to capture his victims. Over time, that web got bigger and the victims grew. The fact that so many children and families are involved, just shows how good he was at wearing the masks he wore and how good he was at pretending to be safe.

Sadly, the education around grooming, and child sexual abuse has been lacking for parents, early childhood educators and teachers. Most educators and teachers are taught about child sexual abuse and mandatory reporting, but their education lacks the further explanation and knowledge of what grooming and abuse looks like, by their own peers and co-workers.

Individual vigilance is not, and was never going to be, enough on its own. That's exactly why I do this work, because the answer isn't "parents and centre's need to be more suspicious and trust no one." It's that we need better systems, better training, and a culture that stops treating "they seemed so nice" as evidence of innocence and safety. Bad people do ‘good things all the time in order to remain under the radar. It’s how they stay actively abusing for years. 

If this case has unsettled you, that's a reasonable response. Let it move you toward better structures, better awareness and MORE conversations with the kids and adults in your lives. Let’s build a world where unsafe behaviour and inappropriate adults are unable to abuse because they don’t have the space to do so.

When we know better, we can do better.

Kristi x 

PS - If you want more in-depth grooming education and training for your service, team or staff, please reach out via email to [email protected]

If you or someone you know has been affected by this case, support is available through Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800), Lifeline (13 11 14), and Bravehearts (1800 272 831).